NOT EVEN BEING THE RICHEST MAN ON EARTH CAN MAKE YOUR TEENAGER LIKE YOU

There’s no greater withering judge of character than a teenager. Mostly they turn against themselves — what with the harsh navelgazing and horrific personal assessments most are prone to on a daily basis, which results in some well-documented afflictions populating the unfiltered TikTok confessionals of the metaverse. But, to be fair, they’re at their most scathing when they turn their steely gaze to the adults in their lives. Who can forget Greta Thunberg’s soul-destroying “How dare you?”?

I suspect Elon Musk didn’t think things through when he spread his seed with such wild abandon. It’s a bit like when he decided to buy Twitter. Did he consider that these small, genetically precocious bearers of his DNA (they are the richest man on Earth’s kids after all) would morph into teenagers one day? I don’t know? He now has seven judgmental Mini-Mes coming for his psyche. It’s the stuff of Oedipal nightmares. What I can say is that this cycle of existential pain has already started. He got seriously judged this week — one of his twins, with his first wife Justine Wilson (they also have a set of triplets) committed the ultimate act of teenage shade-casting. Born Xavier Musk, she now wants to be known as Vivian Jenna Wilson and filed a petition to legally change names and gender on April 18, a day after turning 18, court documents show. She cited gender identity as a reason and “the fact that I no longer live with or wish to be related to my biological father in any way, shape or form”.

This may have something to do with the tweets Musk blithely published two years ago stating that while he had nothing against transgender people (some of his closest progeny are trans) he just doesn’t like the pronouns. “They are an esthetic (sic) nightmare” and “pronouns suck”. Well, they showed him.

A pertinent question considering the world we’re living in BY ASPASIA KARRAS